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A Nigerian Man is asking for sound counselling on how to deal with his wife whose culinary skills have not impressed him since they got married

A Nigerian man is asking for sound counselling on how to deal with his wife whose culinary skills have not impressed him since they got married.

Please hide my identity before you share this. I am a newly married man. I got married last year, in December and so far, things have been quite good, not perfect though except for the meal.

My wife is a very terrible cook and no matter how much I try to manage. The first time she cooked soup for me, it was a complete disaster.

There was too much water in the soup and it had almost no taste whatsoever. She apologized that she wasn’t feeling well and that was what affected her food. It was the second week of our marriage and because I loved her so much, I didn’t bother.

Due to the fact that she was not feeling well then, we resorted to buying food. I bought food for about two weeks without complaining. We just got married and I was willing to do anything for my wife. When she got back on her feet, she made mainly rice and noodles. No real food, it was mostly carbohydrates and other light foods like spaghetti. 

Before we got married, we only dated for three months and in those three months of our relationship, we didn’t see each other for long. We stayed in two different locations. I was based in Ibadan while she was based in Abuja. Due to the distance, we only saw each other a few times but we really connected.

She spoke smartly, she was focused and was very ambitious so it motivated me to get closer to her and after some time, I proposed to her and she agreed. So because of the fact that we were not very close in terms of the location during our dating period, I did not find out that she was a terrible cook. I don’t know how to cook and that is why I am worried.

I love food a lot and when I was single I spent so much money on vendors trying to buy food. Buying food outside or eating to my fill at restaurants. This was one of the reasons why I wanted to marry someone who could cook well. It’s not as if it was a major criteria but it was something I was interested in. Sometimes when I called my wife, she would tell me that she’s cooking so I actually thought that she could cook. 

So I was really disappointed when I realized that she couldn’t cook. Sometimes when she cooks, she also can’t eat the food. I understand that she is always trying to please me by cooking but it doesn’t always turn out well. She watches YouTube videos of nice meals, soups and other local dishes that I like.

She puts in a lot of effort but it doesn’t turn out as she expected. It is either there is too much salt or the food is watery or there is so much pepper. The food may also be tasteless, unappealing in terms of looks or sour. Her food was rarely great. The only foods that she could cook very well were rice and stew, spaghetti, and noodles. She also loved making pancakes, popcorn and other snacks. Her stew is always very tasty like her noodles but I can’t continue to eat that all my life. I have been managing but it is not easy for me. 

I came up with a plan, I started eating out. She would make something light for me as breakfast. If it is not tea and bread, it would be fried rice, pancake and tea or noodles. I’d have something for lunch from the restaurant nearby and after work everyday, I ate before going home.

This has been my routine for a very long time but I can’t continue like this. Our marriage is not up to a year and things are already going this way. Because I eat out, when I come home, I refuse to eat her food and it makes her angry but I can’t help it.

Many times I purge after eating her food. If I don’t purge, I have stomach ache, constipation or I fall sick. I don’t know what else to do. I don’t have enough money to continue eating out. I am tired and this is affecting my marriage.  

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